I find it perplexing how a person's thinking can become... well clouded. I quit drinking quite a while ago and it seems to me that things become clearer almost by the day. I was having a discussion with a friend about my drinking, back when I drank. People used to say, "come on over and have a beer" all of the time. And, of course, I would oblige them. The funny thing was it was never, and I mean never A beer. It always ended up being at least three beers and most times many more than that.
Was I an alcoholic$%: I don't know, but I do know I drank a lot. In my estimation, it became too much, so I stopped. It took me the better part of fifteen years to come to this conclusion, but I finally came to the realization that I was drinking too much. The bottom line was that I drank quite a lot of beer. I more or less stayed away from the hard stuff, mostly because I liked the way beer 'tasted', or at least that's what I told myself.
Then recently I found myself with an old friend, reminiscing about the days when I used to drink with him, and something came to me. I said to him how I find it funny that for the most part I drank a 12-pack on most nights. Some nights more and some less, but the average had to be about twelve. Then I said to him, "Bob, I bought a twelve pack of Coke the other day and I can't even imagine sitting down and drinking it all in one sitting! It amazes me that I used to do that exact thing with beer." After that conversation I realized that at the time in my life when I did slam a 12-pack in one sitting, I wasn't thinking clearly at all. Not even close.
A little pattern:
Just like it being perplexing about how clouded your thinking can become, it's equally perplexing how clear your thinking can become when you sober up. I'm not at all a religious person, but have to assume there was a higher power involved in this process. All of these thoughts and realizations just fit together too perfectly for any other explanation that I'm aware of. All I know is that there was a time when going out and "having a beer" actually meant going out and having at least three.
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